Oh My (Useless) Goddess
by Cythieus
Summary: Wiz and Aqua have never been close; they just tolerate each other. When an extended trip outside of Axel see them interacting more, Aqua finds herself developing a fondness for the lich. But when they stumble across a sect of her followers, can Aqua keep the crazed Axis Order from destroying Wiz? Takes place several years after Kazuma and Aqua arrive.
1. Chapter 1

Everything around them was soot, scorched by the massive explosion from Megumin's spell. The air was still hot, causing the world to appear hazy and shimmery; Kazuma's senses ebbed in and out, slowly returning to him. The ringing in his ears died to a dull roar underlined by the thud of his heart. He spotted one of the undead shuffling toward where he Aqua, her face and knees against the ground with her butt in the air. His hands slid against the loose, blackened dirt fighting for traction as he fought to move.

A glass vial of green fluid was half submerged in the dirt, Kazuma scuttled his legs and arms to move forward a little and grab for it. He brought the vial to his face and bit down on the cork to extract it and rolled over onto his back to pull his short sword. He emptied the vial onto the blade.

Pushing off of the ground he charged the last one of the demons, his weapon gleaming in the smoke-diluted light with holy power entrusted to the next attack by the vial of oil.

Kazuma bowled the creature over, tackling it as the short sword slid into its chest with a wet _thunk_. He and his target bumped Aqua from the side and toppled into the dirt with him pinning the thing to the ground as they landed. He drank in a mouth full of ash and hot air before coughing and rolling off of the demonic creature onto his back.

"That's the last of them," he managed, sputtering to get clear his mouth. His energy spent, he could feel himself sinking into fatigued slumber. They'd bit off more than they could chew this time—this had nearly been it.

Something below his leg tugged at him, trying to move from under his angle. He tried to lift his shoulders to sit up or push off of his hands, but his muscles didn't respond. His body wouldn't respond, but there was something nearby moving.

"Get your foot off of my hair, you fucking NEET!" Aqua yelled, her arms and legs audibly flailing against the ground.

He sank away, his head falling limp off to the side. As the final threat faded away so did he, drifting into a well-deserved sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Her skin was reddened and sore from spell-fire and her legs wobbled with exhaustion. Aqua stumbled down the path using her staff to steady herself on one side and Kazuma's shoulder on the other. Their feet bumped and tangled as they tried to keep to a straight path on the dirt road; this was made that much harder by the sun sinking lower behind the horizon.

Darkness's hands clutched ropes at her shoulders that connected to a large basket that rested on her back with Megumin passed out inside. The blonde crusader's boots scraped at the dirt and rocks as they trudged along, the battle even wearing on her.

"Megumin's drooling down the back of my armor," Darkness said. "This is so humiliating." She added in a heady tone.

Kazuma let out a labored sigh. "Down girl. We should have bought torches," he said, his voice muffled by Aqua's hair.

"I was going to make a light when it got dark," Aqua said.

Kazuma moaned. "It already is dark. Not all of us have god-sight."

"That's not a thing," Aqua said. Something dull orange flickered at the edge of the tree line off to the side of the road. "The camp is right there." She pointed. "And we can finally get some rest."

Darkness glanced over at her. "I could keep going," she said.

"You're glutton for punishment," said Kazuma.

"There's no where else to go," Aqua said. "And Some of us like our flawless legs not falling off…" she added.

They shuffled into camp together, making their way around the trees and over the underbrush to find the slanted fissure that lead down into the perfect place to build an encampment. The hole was deep enough that a far could be hidden, but not so deep that one couldn't see out over the top. The ground rising up around them provided natural cover from slings and arrows—from what Kazuma had always said about these kinds of things Aqua would have guessed at least a seventy-five percent chance at being missed, she didn't get it.

Tending to the fire while wearing significantly less of her normal garments than when they had left was Wiz. She glanced up, her face framed in her mousey brown hair and shot bashful smile at the group as they trotted around the fire to take their places. "Happy hunting?" She asked.

Darkness dropped the basket from her back, letting it fall so that Megumin was sitting up in it on the ground. She carefully moved the younger girl onto a bedroll as she spoke. "Vile creatures assaulted us from every angle. I thought they would strip me bare of armor and flesh on the spot, but we prevailed," she said with a far off look in her eyes as if she were remembering some fond childhood memory.

"Sounds like you had a good time," Wiz said warmly.

Darkness's face went pink. "I didn't—say anything that would have insinuated that…"

"No, but I know you," Wiz said. The stick she held was a glowing ember at the end; a thin line of smoke rose up from it turning to thin gray wisps in the air. It wasn't like Wiz to accompany them beyond the civilization, but they also wanted to eat something that wasn't rodents on a stick or half cooked fish which made her their best option.

If someone had told Aqua four years ago that she would not only allowed an undead creature into her immediate area, but would have welcomed the thing as a person, she would have never believed them. And she was still no friend to the undead, she became the target of any mindless undead they encountered. The undead hate life and what has more life within them than a literal goddess?

Megumin stirred on her bedroll, moving her boots against the ground. "Oh we're back at camp? Good," she said in an airy tone.

Aqua eyed Kazuma, who had been pretty silent most of this time. He was digging into the pot of whatever goulash that Wiz had whipped up. His face had become angular with a wispy goatee covering his chin. There were perpetually large bags under his eyes as this lifestyle didn't allow for good sleep, especially when they had been outside of town so long. He looked wilder now, with stubble and long unkempt hair.

For all intents and purposes Kazuma was a man. Even though she still preferred to call him a pathetic hikiNEET, he wasn't without his flashes of bravery and he had somehow become their default leader. Aqua couldn't remember her old life; she knew it lingered there in the background. Despite being in the world of mortals she wasn't going to age. Which meant the longer they took getting her home this the more likely she'd look out of place.

Darkness polished her sword, oiling the blade down and rubbing it in with a cloth. She worked from hilt to tip, carefully working the blade in her hands.

Kazuma sighed. "Not sure why you're polishing it; it's not like you've hit anything," he said plainly.

Darkness's face reddened, her eyes watering over as she tried to hold back her obvious excitement. Aqua stirred uncomfortably. "Rude. How dare you speak down to a lady like that! Weapon maintenance is paramount to a knight's honor!" Darkness said covering for herself.

Megumin was still face down on her bedroll, her voice muffled in the fabric. "But you've spent all your time trying to get people to speak down and defile you…"

Darkness stared daggers into her, pausing her sword polishing for just long enough to let the sentiment marinate.

Wiz's chuckling broke the tension. "I love being out with you all."

"Huh?" Aqua asked.

"It's just that—it's like being around a real family," Wiz said.

Aqua straightened her back, holding her head higher now. "You think we're a family?" She asked. "Me and these losers?" Tears welled up in her eyes as she fought to hold it in, but Aqua burst into laughter clutching her stomach. Her legs kicking wildly like a child's and causing her to fall uselessly onto her back in the dirt.

Kazuma turned to stare blankly at Aqua, his arms limply hanging at his sides. "Do—people like you have family?"

Aqua blinked at him, the question rolling around inside of her head before it became clear. "I suppose that the other gods and goddesses would be my brothers and sisters." She paused. "We don't really have parents as much as…"

"Someone's there?" Kazuma jerked his head to the right and popped up onto his knees to peek over the ridge. His eyes scanned the darkness of the woods, though he wasn't a thief and still hadn't classed into anything specific he had the most many skills from the thief set.

Megumin was out cold; she and Kazuma weren't ready for another fight. Darkness was probably the only one of them that could have been of any use and that was only up until the that something needed to be accurately attacked. Aqua moved next to Kazuma, grabbing onto the lip of the ridge.

"What is it?" Asked Aqua.

"I heard something out there," said Kazuma.

"I-If it's one of those toads or alligators t-then I've got somewhere else to be, like now," said Aqua.

Wiz stood up. "I think it was humans," she moved to join the Aqua and Kazuma, but caught her foot on a rock and stumbled, falling forward just as Aqua turned. There was only one thing there for Wiz to grab for: her. Her arms grabbed Aqua around the waist, pulling her at her skirt roughly.

"Wa-AHHHHHH, get off of me, dead thing!" Aqua yelled.

Aqua landed face down with Wiz laying on top of her, as if on instinct she let some of her power. The kind of positive-god-energy that burned its way through Wiz and in turn Wiz squealed, squirming from the pain.

"Ow, please don't!" Wiz cried.

"Shut up, you two. Someone is out there!"

Aqua pounded on the top of Kazuma's foot with her fist. "I can't breath! She's crushing me under her massive tits. Help me, you virgin hermit!"

"I am not a virgin and you don't fucking breath!" Kazuma yelled.

"Um, everyone," Darkness said.

"Jacking off into the hay between us while I pretend to be asleep does NOT count!" Aqua said as she managed to push off of the ground and knock Wiz away.

"That happened one time and I apologized. You should have said something," said Kazuma.

"Guys," Darkness said.

"Who just lays there and watches _that_?" Kazuma said accusingly.

Aqua sat up and shrugged. "We don't exactly get PornHub over here and it's not like I could sleep with slapping sounds and you talking to yourself in that fake girl voice!"

"Aqua!" Darkness shouted.

"Oh dear," Wiz said before lifting her hands up above her head.

She saw Kazuma turn to look and Aqua followed his gaze to the ramp that led out of their camping area. Several men were gathered there, the man in the lead held a crossbow aimed at them. His red orange hair was spiked back, being held up by a headband.

"Damn, I thought you guys would never shut the Hell up," said the crossbowman. "Drop all your shit. Wake that wizard girl up," he said moving his head to indicate Megumin.

Megumin shifted her weight, but didn't sit up. "I'm awake," she said weakly.

"Everyone on their feet," the leader of the pack said. "And swords down!"

"Wait just a goddamn minute," Kazuma said. Without drawing his arms back to telegraph his attack, Aqua saw him go to lunge forward. Time seemed to slow down as the enemy squeezed his crossbow trigger.

In a flash of purple and a flutter of cloaks something pushed past her. The crossbow bolt was in the air the last thing she knew and then someone was standing between Kazuma and his attacker. It took a moment for it to register, along with the fact that someone had yelled in a shrill voice.

"No!" It was Wiz, with a swiftness Aqua had never seen she pushed to the front and blocked Kazuma's body. She turned to the side, the metal shaft of the bolt jutting out of her upper chest near the collar bone.

Kazuma acted fast, pushing off of the ground to hop to Wiz's side and ready his counter. "Steal!" His hand glowed a blinding blue as he aimed it at the first of the men. And in an instant he was holding…a belt?

A confused shudder shook Kazuma's body, but he managed to swing the belt haphazard and hit the man in the face. The huge buckle connected with his chin sending him careening to the side. Another of the men moved to fire at her, but Aqua dashed for him. "Oh no you don't…God **BLOW!** "

Her fist burned with holy light and she leapt through hitting the second man in line in the chest. The force of the hit sent out a small shockwave of warm air and he spiraled into his companions knocking them all off of their feet.

"He shot me…." Wiz said, her voice trembling. "It doesn't hurt so bad. It just…I think the bolt might be silver tipped, heh," she said before she sunk to her knees, grasping for the part sticking out of her chest.

Darkness rushed to catch her before she fell full onto the ground. "Help me hold it still. We have to get it out of her!" She held the other woman over her lip, examining the wound. "It's in there good—oh, this should have been me."

"Tend to Wiz." Kazuma was already using the opportunity to disarm the men and search them for coin.

Aqua stood by as Darkness pulled the bolt free, there was no blood as was expected from a lich. The magic that reanimated didn't do much to keep them looking 'alive', Wiz must take special precautions to keep her body fresh.

"Is there some way you can heal her?" Asked Kazuma.

"No," Aqua shook her head. "If anything the magic from my healing will just make the wound worse. If _someone_ had necromancy spells or any other spells at all this might be easier," Aqua said.

"Bite me," Megumin said.

"Hgnh," Wiz sighed. "Sit me up, I can cast…"

Darkness moved to hold her upright and Wiz muttered something under her breath. Aqua recognized it as an _Inflict wounds_ spell. She had never thought about it before, but that would do the trick.

The skin around the opening in her chest kneaded itself back together like dough and she immediately started to look more alert. Wiz's eyes sprung open and she pushed off of Darkness to stand. "I've got it now."

"Shit," Kazuma said from a little ways away. "You killed two of these guys, Aqua."

"Serves them right for aiming a bow at her excellency, me!"

Sniffing the air, Kazuma crouched next to one of the corpses. "I'm pretty sure this one shit himself…yeah, that's shit alright," Kazuma said as he used his sword to lift the hem of the man's trousers.

"Casual murder, business as usual," Darkness chimed in.

Wiz glanced back at the fire. "That smell will be unappetizing. We could move camp, just to avoid the trouble, but what about the rest of them."

Crusaders had some level of legal authority when the laws of a city or town weren't in play. "The penalty for this kind of thing is typically death, but I doubt I'd be able to strike the blow," said Darkness blushing.

Kazuma grabbed his sword. "I'll do it while you guys break camp…"


	3. Chapter 3

Morning brought steady, driving rain and gray skies as far as the eye could see. The thick foliage provided cover from the worst of it, but their gear and the food had gotten damp in the few hours before they realized. They broke down camp in wet clothes and hurriedly packed things away for the days travels and were out of the forest only a short time later.

The road had been reduced to a muddy messed, but they were in high spirits as they made their way north over the rolling hills. Megumin, Kazuma, and Darkness walked side by side further out front.

Aqua and Wiz brought up the rear and up to a point walked in silence. But a question was bothering her and she had to let it out. It was rare that Aqua had any sort of tact for these things and she didn't know better than to hold something in for long.

"How do you—how is it you're not rotten," she asked Wiz. "Since you're a Lich."

"Oh," Wiz said. "I have my spells and this." Wiz reached down the front of her blouse and fished out a small copper pendant with a stone inlaid in it. " _Gentle repose_ magical pendant. Even if it breaks it just takes a little rock salt and copper to whip up another."

"That makes sense," Aqua said. "Well, it seems to be working well anyway. You, um, hardly notice the smell."

Wiz's face colored suddenly and she glanced away. "I see."

"I mean, I've got this nose. Goddess nose and all. It might just be because of that. It's not a dead smell. It's just subtly magic, like a darkness. If that makes sense."

"I know you didn't mean any offense," Wiz said.

"You did?"

Wiz nodded. "I'm well versed in Aqua. You come off as rude and abrasive, but you really don't lie. I think that's more important than being nice sometimes. The truth is…freeing," Wiz said as she tucked her hand into her shirt to put the pendant away. The white fabric had become so translucent from the rain that Aqua could see the subtle color of her skin beneath it, but she averted her eyes.

"That's right," Aqua said.

"Mind if I ask you a personal question?" Asked Wiz.

Aqua shrugged. "Not really."

"The notion of family seemed comical to you, but do gods and goddesses have…wives and husbands and friends out there, wherever there is?"

For several moments Aqua remained silent. "We talk to each other and eat. Sometimes if there was a need, which for me was kind of often, I would hook up with someone."

"Hook up?" Wiz looked off to the side, but Aqua suspected that the casual nature of the term had clued her in to what it meant.

"Yeah, it's just casual one time stuff. I've never married. I had so many admirers and worshipers you know, hehe," Aqua said. "It was like being surrounded by love all the time, but you know a woman has needs."

Colloquiums were a thing Aqua hadn't gotten control over yet. Both she and Kazuma would regularly bring up soda or reference television shows no one in Axel could have possibly seen or comprehended, but explaining a piece of fiction was often easier than explaining what someone meant when they said NEET or used cool to describe something.

"So it was just physical?" Wiz asked.

"Yeah. It's not that far fetched. In the other world people would go on their phone and just swipe right on someone and then they'd be banging that night," she said.

Wiz managed to sort out the idea of the phrase "banging" well enough, it seemed. In all of the time they had known each other, Aqua had never thought of Wiz as being stupid—even if she wasn't inclined to trust a being made of evil magic like a lich. "That all sounds very different."

Aqua pressed her clasped hands down into her lap, sighing inwardly. "Yeah, but it's nice here too," Aqua explained, turning around to face Wiz while walking backwards. The rain had never been much of a bother to her as she was a Goddess of water and being wet didn't bother her. She bent down, wagging her finger at Wiz. "You get pretty used to it, you know, like how all the good food here is."

"Oh," Wiz said, her face suddenly turning a pale red.

It was a little ways more down the road when Aqua jogged to catch up with Kazuma, grabbing at his left arm. "KAAAAAW-zuma?" She asked in her most sickeningly cute tone, her fingers playing up and down his arm deftly. "Can we stop and rest soon? My legs are getting tired."

"We're like a hundred kilometers from anything. We don't want to waste daylight," Kazuma said snatching his arm out of her grasp.

"But I'm tired," she whined. Aqua reached for his face, trying to run her fingers through his wispy goatee. "Have I told you that your little scruff looks…good lately?"

Kazuma shrugged her off. "You're a terrible liar; don't touch me," he said.

"Ugh, rude," Aqua shrieked, jerking her body away from his. "You really ought to show me more respect," she said folding her arms. "Even if we've been here all these years, I'm still a fabulous Goddess, you know." She ran her fingers back through sky blue hair, flipping it over her shoulder.

Without another word Kazuma turned away from her, stepping more to the opposite side of the road to the point that he bumped into Megumin, pushing her into Darkness. Aqua dropped her hands to her sides and slowed her gait until she drifted back to Wiz's side where she stayed quietly.

* * *

A huge red brick building stood on the crest of a hill in the distance. It was massive, large enough to be some kind of castle that belonged to a Lord or encompassed a small town. Darkness and Kazuma held a map between them looking over the section of it where they should have been.

"There's not a town here," said Kazuma. "There's nothing marked on the map."

Megumin ran out across the field with her hand pressed to the steeple of her hat to keep it in place, her boots splashing in a puddle as she planted her feet to stop. "I don't think it's a residence," she said. "There's a flag flying over the ramparts—it looks like the Axis Order emblem and colors." She sighed and turned to look at Aqua. "Some of your followers."

"Good, maybe they'll let us stay there for the night," Aqua said pointing at herself. "I'm here after all."

"Yeah, but most of them don't even believe you're you. And the ones that do are mad about what you did in Alcanretia," Megumin said.

"Nonsense, they'll have no choice but to bow down and listen once I get in there and show them my awesome powers," Aqua said closing her eyes with a smug look plastered on her face.

"You mean those tricks where you pull a quarter out from behind my ear?" Darkness asked.

Aqua clenched her fists in front of herself, arms trembling with determination. "You're going to eat your words. Just watch!"

As Aqua struck off across the field toward the abbey the others followed behind her. Her anger was to the point that the air seemed to seethe and steam in her wake. A crud path that lead up to the gates of the building had been carved out of the land by repeated visits from carts and travelers on foot. However there were no carts around the outside, which probably meant that the abbey hadn't accepted visitors on this particular day.

"I'll show you," Aqua muttered. "Call my power into question, huh!"

* * *

Aqua was shoved to hay covered floor only seconds before the iron bars of the door slammed shut behind her. She pushed herself up onto her hands and rolled over to stare across the aisle at where Kazuma sat alone in the cell opposite hers. She glanced to her side to see Wiz sitting next to her in the dull light.

Sitting fully up onto her butt, Aqua pulled her knees to close and wrapped her arms around them waiting for the inevitable insult.

"You were saying?" Kazuma asked, his tone dripping with disdain.

"This isn't my fault." Aqua rubbed her hand under eye, brushing the blue strands of hair out of her face. Tears welled up, blurring her vision. "I mean…I didn't mean…"

Kazuma rolled his eyes. "Don't do it. Don't start…"

Aqua threw her head back, crying out. Tears streamed down her cheeks and her nose went all red and itchy. She could barely speak, but she tried even then. "KA- _hic_ -ZU- _hic_ -MA…you- _hic_ -have to do something!"

"Here she goes again," Megumin said from the cell next to Kazuma's where she and Darkness were held.

"Why is it my job to bail you out of everything that you get yourself into?" Kazuma asked.

"Because you're technically one of my followers," Aqua said sniffling.

Something soft and warm wrapped itself around Aqua from the side; Wiz was hugging her, the Lich's soft cheek pressed against the top of her head. "It's okay. It'll be okay," Wiz whispered against her hair.

"Wiz?" Aqua's eyes went wide as she realized what was happening. The redness from her cheeks slowly spread to the rest of her face.

"KEEP IT DOWN IN THERE!" A gruff voiced guard yelled from somewhere down the hallway of the dungeon area where they were being kept.

The inside of the abbey was an odd set up, the entrance way had huge garage-like doors that pulled up into the ceiling, They were made of wooden slats so that they could bend as they moved higher and pull inside of the building. The doors hid several carriages and carts that were not hooked to horses or anything.

Beyond that were halls decorated in lavish reds and maroons that were adorned with the Axis insignia on hanging tapestries every few feet. Guards were posted at each cross section of the hallways. But the four of them were led through a winding maze of passages and past open doorways into a great hall where several of the members set in dark robes eating and talking in hushed tones.

Things felt decidedly different than they had in Alcanretia when they were last there and really any of the other Axis facility.

"It's okay," Aqua said with a sniffle. "I'm fine," she added.

Wiz stepped back and looked to the door. "Do you…do you feel _that?_ " she asked

Aqua nodded. It was faint, but there was a kind of dread that permeated the air of this place. Everything tingled with the feeling of death. "What—what is it?"

"What are you two whispering about?" Asked Kazuma.

"Shhh," Megumin said.

Darkness pressed herself to the barred door. "They should really restrain us, or at least chain me to a wall—I could get free."

"Shut up!" There were rushed footsteps as a guard came toward them.

"I demand you let me out," Aqua protested. "I'm your Goddess the great Aqua. Test me if you need to or ask the members in Alcanretia about my awesome power."

The guard stopped and lifted the metal visor on his armor's helm. "Hmm." He turned and rushed back down the hall, his feet clanging with each step. A door at the end of the hall shut and all sound ceased.

"Now you've done it," Megumin said. "They'll probably torture us for being heretics."

"Do you think?" Darkness said, unable to contain her enthusiasm.

Aqua didn't speak as a round of chatter started between the others. She could feel what it was Wiz was talking about and now she suspected it was more than a sense of some general worry. There were undead in one of her temples.

* * *

Hours passed before the door at the end of the hallway opened again, this time several footsteps moved toward them. All of them in armor and carrying something wooden that hit into the stone floor. A pole arm, maybe? Kazuma assumed that these guards were more specialized and meant to be able to put down disturbances. Had Aqua's contest fallen on ears that actually believed her.

Six large armored forms stopped outside of their three cells, their hands at their sides with their spears resting against the shoulder.

"You there, get up," the man who must have been the leader spoke.

Aqua went to move.

"Not you, the one in purple. Yeah, you brunette," the guard said pointed a gauntleted hand at Wiz.

Wiz rose from the little pallet of hay she sat on. "Me?" She asked.

"Approach the door and keep your hands where we can see them."

"What are you doing with her?" Asked Kazuma.

Another guard slammed the front of his cell. "Quiet, heretic. You'll get yours soon enough. All non-believers will."

"Non-believers? We're part of the order!" Kazuma said.

One of the guards opened the door and stepped through with the others filing in behind him. Two of them grabbed Wiz between them and there was a sizzle, her skin burned under the grasp of their hands and Wiz cried out, jerking her body from side to side in pain.

"I'm your Goddess!" Aqua screamed. "Let her go!"

A guard lunged at her, slamming the butt of his spear into her nose with a harsh crack that sent her to the floor. Aqua was one of the most resilient of them, but the surprise of the hit mixed with the force caught her off guard and she balled up, holding her face and crying.

"What the Hell is this?" Kazuma yelled.

"Hit me. I'm the one you want—take out all you sick little fantasies on…" Darkness was screaming, but Wiz's shouting cut her off.

One of the guards had reached down the Lich's robes and tugged her necklace out, the copper and salt crystal charm twinkling in the dim light as it was ripped away. They tossed it onto the floor next to Aqua.

"No, please. I have to…" Wiz's words were punctuated with a sicking crunch as a guard punched her hard. They pulled her out of the cell roughly, her struggling between them.

"We have to do something!" Kazuma said.

An unoccupied guard stepped out of the cell and ripped his helm away to reveal tanned skin gnarled with scars from what seemed to be a horrible burn. His eyes were piercing and yellow. "You'll do no such thing!" He said jamming his spear into Kazuma's gut. The sharp pain ripped through him and he had to hold the bars to keep himself on his feet. "Wiz," he managed.

Hot blood gushed down his stomach and leg. His fingers trembled as he fought to hang onto the cold metal bars. He grunted as he watched them drag Wiz out of sight and through the reinforced metal door at the end of the hall.

"Kazuma! Kazuma, speak to me." Megumin was reaching through the bars of her cell. "What are they doing?"

Across from them Aqua muttered something softly through her tears. A glowing light lit the cell, a healing spell.

"You can still cast?" Asked Megumin.

It took a moment for Aqua to manage to answer. "Yeah, but it's hard for some reason," she said sniffling.

"Anti-Magic field, it must not be effective on Gods," Megumin said. "It's hard to block something that is magic from magic."

"That would mean Wiz could still use her powers?" Kazuma said slowly.

"Potentially. We need to get you some help. Aqua, can you heal him from there?" Megumin asked.

Darkness sighed. "They're pretty far apart," she said.

"I can't do much with this filed in place, but I have one trick up my sleeve," Aqua said.

"Not those stupid fucking fans with the water squirts," Kazuma grumbled.

"No, they really pissed me off and, well, I just can't let this stand," she said through gritted teeth. "Just who do they think they are hitting a beautiful Goddess in her face like that. Fuck them!"

"She's going to blow," Megumin said.

"It's just—HNNGH, _GOD BLOW WITH SACRED DISPEL!_ " Aqua dropped into a quick squat, her fist bursting to life with glowing holy light. She drove her hand into the bricks of the floor so hard that the abbey seemed to shake around them. Dust was shaken loose from the cracks in the wall and ceiling and there was an explosion of light with rings of runes forming in the air around her.

A translucent wave spread from the point of impact on the floor and the door to her cell fell out into the hallway.

"Trap me, heh, you can't hold a God!" Aqua said as she strolled out of the cell with her pink raiment trailing behind her. She grabbed Kazuma's hand through the bars. "Hold still." Her tone was completely different, they had humiliated her and the vengeful Goddess side of her was back. Maybe they had a chance, Kazuma thought.

A holy light welled up between her breasts, spreading through out her body and feeding into him, he felt invigorated and somehow stronger. "What is that?"

"Protection from Evil and Cure Wounds…" Aqua said,

"This I can work with. It feels like a plus one or two, now we're talking," Kazuma said as he flexed his hand a few times testing this newfound energy. "Okay." He made a fist and reached for the locked door of his cell. "Steal!"

Without these parts there was no way the door would function. He opened his hand letting the lock tumblers fall into the hay and pushed the door open to join Aqua in the hallway. Then he did the same to the door that held Megumin and Darkness.

It was Darkness who rushed out first, hugging him shyly only to step aside as Megumin wrapped her arms around him and stared daggers into her the Crusaders.

"We have to go save Wiz," said Kazuma.

Aqua nodded. "And we need to hurry, there's something she sensed here and with that magic field gone it's stronger now…"

"What do you mean?" Asked Darkness.

"Undead. This place is crawling with undead," Aqua said.


	4. Chapter 4

Sand.

Sand everywhere.

Sand clung to her skin, sticking to her face and even around her lips where they had been touching the bare floor. When the guards were done with whatever had been going on they must have brought her here. She couldn't remember anything after the punches they rained down on her outside of doors of the dungeon.

This room's floor was covered in the little granules and each of them dug into Wiz's skin. Too much of her was cold, exposed. Gone were her clothes. She went to move, but everything was dark and even with her dark vision it took a second for her eyes to adjust.

Even without her eye sight available, she could smell the dead. When she had been in the cell earlier she had sensed them, but they were much closer now. The putrid smell of rotten flesh permeated the air. Wiz grasped for the thin chain that should have been around her neck, feeling for her magical charm. The guards had thrown it on the floor of the cell where Aqua and the others were. Was part of that smell her? How long had she been here?

Things came into focus she spotted figures moving back and forth. They didn't look her direction or even acknowledge each other, sometimes bumping into one another. Zombies andThere were more of them here than she could have figured from what she felt earlier.

There must have been an anti-magic field in the cell they were holding her in. It's the only way that she could have missed all of this. Carefully, she pushed herself to her feet. The skin where the guards had grabbed her earlier was burning, her face was still sore from the punch.

Wiz bundled her arms around her nude body, covering herself as best she could as she rose from the ground to make her way toward the wall. The other undead bumped her as they moved, but none of them responded in any way besides a passive moan. Sand scrapped at the bottoms of her feet with each step.

"I see you've returned to the world of the living, not in the literal sense of course," came a voice that seemed to reverberate through the room. The person was far off using a spell, probably _Thaumaturgy_ , minor transmutation cantrip—nothing that even the most mundane mages could pull off. "You're a sight to behold: that fresh, pale skin, a body with next to no wear or blemishes, all of your limbs intact. You're an exquisite work of art."

It was a struggle for Wiz to manage even a low level detect magic spell, but she used it to point her way toward the speaker. "Work of art?" Wiz asked. "What do you want from me?" Her eyes had fully adjusted, she could see the slack, naked flesh of the zombies drooping from the bones of the rotted bodies.

"I practically just told you, huh?" The voice asked.

His voice didn't ring any bells, but something about the way that he spoke told her that she should know him or that he had more intimate knowledge of her. Then again a voice was an easy enough thing to describe. "Y-You're building an army," Wiz said, the words leaving her lips the moment that she realized that it had to be true.

"You're not as perceptive as I thought," the voice said. "Besides, who builds an army out of something so valuable to the right person?"

Wiz kept making her way toward the source of the magic, feeling her way through the ripples of magic in the ether. "I'm not sure I understand?" She asked.

"All will be made clear in due time," he said. "What you need to know now is that you're very important to us, Lich," he said. "And to think you came to us!"

Brushing between two of the zombies, Wiz finally reached wall of the room, her hands flattened against the bricks as she felt for any sign of a way out. From what she could see down the wall there was no doors or windows. Panic set in, but she couldn't manage to cast anything that would be of any help. Detect magic was one thing, but a higher level spell or even healing would be impossible for her at this point.

Wiz pressed her back against the wall and sat down on the floor slowly. She folded her arms around knees, pulling them to her chest, glancing out across the room filled with the shuffling undead.

Kazuma, Aqua and the others would come to find her. Yeah, they would search for her. That was the kind of thing that they did. They helped each other. They wouldn't abandon her here. If they were still alive. If they hadn't abandoned her already.

* * *

In the aftermath of their escape there was bound to be someone who came to investigate the noise. Kazuma tore through the three of their cells hunting for anything that they could use to fight back. Their weapons had been taken from from omg the way down here, though they were more than likely stored near enough by.

Darkness grabbed hold of one of the wrought iron bars with her gloved hand, giving it a hardy tug. "Maybe—" she grunted. "Maybe we could pry one of these off of here…" Darkness finished.

"Not fast enough, we made a pretty big commotion," said Megumin as she bent down to examine the ironwork at the junctions. "It looks like it's pretty sturdy—even given how big you are."

"It's not polite to call a lady 'big'," Darkness chided her.

"Maybe we could flood the hall," Aqua said after what had clearly been a lot of thought. "Or…or, I could create a magical weapon!" She snapped.

"Those only last for a single attack," Kazuma said.

"Hmm, then we make it count," said Megumin.

Darkness filled in the next part of the plan. "If we pick a weapon form that pierces through our enemies and catches them the moment the door is opened we can get as many of them as possible!"

Kazuma nodded. "Right. Aqua, can you conjure the weapon as a ballista?"

A thunderous sound echoed from somewhere above them. Boot and armor clad feet padded across the floor of the room overhead, presumably coming for them. "Aqua!" Kazuma yelled.

The blue haired Goddess turned to them, there seemed to be something glinting in her eye and a hint of magic about her. Aqua was at her best when she was utterly and desperately needed. "I've got it."

The sounds above them moved in a rapid line across toward the end of the hall and could be heard descending the stairs into the dungeon. Aqua moved a hand above her head in a quick loop, motioning through the somatic components of the spell in an almost rapid and rehearsed fashion. " _SPIRITUAL WEAPON!_ " Aqua bellowed in a voice that seemed to demand power from the heavens themselves.

A translucent, glowing ballista appeared in the center of the hallway giving off such a light that the world around them seemed darker for it. The door to the dungeons burst in, pounding into the wall as it was kicked open. Before the guards could call out or even set one foot past the threshold, Aqua made a deft motion and the ghostly siege weapon fired. The bolt of magic energy tore into the men, not bothering to damage their armor or even touch it and instead tearing right through the very center of all of them.

The spiritual weapon spell faded and Kazuma was tugging at her arm. "We have to get moving."

"You don't boss me around you good for nothing NEET," Aqua grumbled.

"We don't have time for this," Kazuma said jerking her by the arm. Darkness and Megumin followed.

When they were stepping over the row of corpses that appeared to have been skewered by an unseen force, Darkness paused mid-step to admire the carnage. "It must be awfully exciting; the feel of something piercing through your breastplate like that and knowing that no amount of armor will save you from the decadent torture…"

"Megumin, get her!" Kazuma said. The young mage grabbed the crusader at the wrist towing her through the door and up the stairs. Kazuma spoke again as they ascended to out of the dungeon. "Are you fantasizing about being skewered by an invisible weapon now? Ugh, why am I not surprised?"

The room that they entered was some sort of staging area for the prison guards. Their own weapons had been stored in the first room that they checked that was off to the side of this one. The entrance to said room had been on the other side of a heavy looking desk. Megumin handed it out their retrieved gear: Aqua's staff, the sword and bow Kazuma carried, Darkness's sword along with Megumin's own staff.

"We're not sure how far the noise reached. Others might know we're coming," Kazuma said.

"Doesn't stop what we have to do," Megumin said. "Doesn't this whole place feel strangely unlike Alcanretia and Aqua's cul—CHURCH when we found them there?"

Darkness inspected the blade of her, checking it with a discerning eye. "Those bastards better not have been playing with this," she muttered. Then as if she heard what was being discussed she sheathed her weapon and looked up. "Yeah, when we were in Alcanretia no one tried to kill us as much as they tried trick us into joining their religion. Well, until they found out I followed Eris, that is…"

Aqua shook her head. "There's noway these…assholes are my followers," she said.

"Why, because they don't believe you're you?" Megumin asked.

"No—a Goddess can feel worship. It's like a warming aura. In a holy place like this I should be bathed in it," Aqua said.

Megumin sighed. "I guess that the whole 'them keeping undead around' part doesn't really make sense with who you are."

"Let's purge these non-believers, before they ruin my good name," Aqua said.

"We need to hurry; I'll lead the way," said Darkness as she moved for the staircase that led up into a higher part of the abbey.

The hall at the top of the stairs was vacant, the walls were purple brick lined with torches. The reddish carpet crunched beneath their feet as they spread out into the hall surveying the area.

"No indication of which way we should head," Megumin said.

Aqua sniffed the air. "The undead are that way…" She pointed down the hall in the direction at Kazuma's back. "…and I sense a Lich."

"That's almost assuredly Wiz," said Megumin.

Of all of the skills that Aqua could claim as her own, this was one of the few that the others wouldn't tease her about. "I'll lead the way," Aqua said nodding confidently. They struck off down the hall with her out front.


	5. Chapter 5

**A little housekeeping:** I'll be trying to post to this story at least once a week until done. I really want to focus on this project for now, so you can expect a pretty steady stream going forward. Some ideas here are borrowed from the Light Novel series, but I'm not sticking strictly to them and the characters are meant to be the ones from the show.

* * *

The slog through the abbey was marked by small battles erupting as they came across the guards for the Axis Order. So much of the place was seemingly guards—they came across an honest to god cleric only twice and the person quickly retreated to an area where they had support from other soldiers. Kazuma knew a cleric alone wasn't a joke, but at the same time there was little chance for one of them to stand against a party made up of three advanced classes and a moderate level adventurer with multiple skills (not that they'd know that).

Darkness drove her sword through the back of a robed cleric who was midway through a spell casting, the fabric of his vestments bloomed red from the spot where the weapon jutted through him. He reached down, stunned, before she yanked her weapon out and he dropped to the ground.

It seemed like everyday Kazuma was more glad that he had finally convinced her to put some points into her sword skill. She still missed more often than him, but when she hit it was devastating.

With her arm held high and her staff in hand, Aqua muttered something before she cast her spell. " _Flamestrike!_ " her voice bellowed with a supernatural gusto.

Outside there was an explosion, the abbey rocked slightly.

Kazuma stepped between Megumin and one of the Axis guards, slashing him across the chest and bringing him to his knees before he dispatched of him. "Aqua…what does that spell do…"

"I don't know what happened," Aqua said.

With the last of the guards down, Kazuma approached her. " _Flamestrike_ calls a vertical column of flame from the heavens to strike an enemy; what's above our heads right now?" Kazuma pointed up toward the ceiling and the roof and other floors that were obviously above them.

Aqua threw her fist down, pressing them against her hips as she yelled at him. "Learn some respect you—you—hikiNEET!"

Megumin rolled her eyes. "This is exactly the time for your little two person argument theater…" she said.

"She's right, which way is Wiz?" Asked Darkness.

Aqua sighed and took off running around the bend of the hall. Kazuma ran to keep up with her. Years of running and fighting had made sure that they all had more substantial stamina than they had started with, but they had been through a lot. He hoped that the goddess had remembered that some of them were human.

"Slow down," Megumin said between hurried breaths as she fought to close the distance between them.

Darkness was already alongside Kazuma, even in full armor she never seemed to run out of energy.

The stiff, thick carpet crunched beneath their feet as they charged toward wherever Aqua was leading them. The blue haired goddess slid to a stop and turned to face a door on the side of the hall. She tried the handle only to find it locked.

"The undead are that way, it feels like they're down a flight of stairs," Aqua said pointing hurriedly.

Darkness examined the door. "Hinges don't look reinforced," she said pressing her hand against the door, feeling how much give it had. "It doesn't seem to be terribly sturdy. Let's just knock it down."

Kazuma nodded. "No point in trying to be stealthy; the whole place knows we're here," he said.

"This sounds like one of those not-Aqua things. You two knock yourself out," she said swiping her hand at them dismissively.

Darkness and Kazuma hunkered down shoulder to shoulder, though she was bigger than him. Her blonde hair swished to the side, brushing against Kazuma's cheek. "Okay, on three?" He asked. "One. Two. Three!" Kazuma said.

The pair dashed at the door, hitting the flat wooden surface in in quick succession with Kazuma reaching it first. When Darkness hit the door shuddered and burst inward with the hinges squeaking from the strain. Unfortunately for them there were stairs on the other side of the door. Kazuma tumbled hard down the stone stairs, Darkness hitting him in the back. As they rolled down into the darkness of the this basement area together he struggled to get a hold on anything that could slow them down.

He could hear Darkness's chirps of mirth behind him as they rolled down the stairs. There was vague hint of light somewhere above them…the open door he guessed. But just when it seemed like they might fall endlessly, Kazuma flattened against the stonework floor. Kazuma got one breath of the cool, stale air before Darkness landed in his back, knocking the air out of his lungs.

When the blinding pain of the impact was gone he could feel her on his back, drinking in huge, excited breaths of air. Kazuma could picture the face she must have had: all pink across the nose and cheeks with her mouth hanging open in poorly restrained ecstasy.

"Are you two okay?" Megumin's voice was distant, echoing down the stone stairwell.

"I think Darkness is a little better than…better," said Kazuma. "Did you soil your armor?" He asked the crusader.

Darkness rolled off of him in one smooth motion, her movements only marked by the glint of her armor in what little light there was available. "Well, I never…what makes you think that you…you can ask a proper lady such a question?" She said. Kazuma had learned over the years how to hear the arousal that tainted the humiliation in her voice.

Kazuma pushed himself up onto his hands and knees. "Be careful coming down. The steps are sharp." There was a flash of pain in his abdomen. "I may need some healing," Kazuma adds.

In a rush of footfalls, Megumin and Aqua descended the stairs; taking them seemingly two at time judging by the sound. Darkness moved to the side as Aqua knelt down to cast one of her curative spells. The soreness and stiffness in Kazuma's body went warm with a subtle numbness as the pain was drained away from him. He pushed up off the ground to get on his feet.

Even in this kind of thick darkness, Kazuma had a skill that allowed him to see to a degree in the darkness. It wasn't to the standard of Aqua (or at least from what she described herself being able to do), but he could see well enough to avoid being attacked by anything that just ran up on him.

And then Aqua Held her staff aloft and muttered a short bit of something that Kazuma couldn't understand. Light erupted from the tip of her staff, illuminating the hallway around them in bluish light. "That's better," she said.

Darkness rubbed her arm across her face, as if in an attempt to gather herself. "I guess…it's this way then?"

They pressed on, sticking close to Aqua and her light. The basement was the total opposite of the upstairs hallway. There was no paint or wallpaper anywhere. The floor was solid stonework and damp in spots where water had leaked down from above. "It's much stronger now; we're closer," Aqua said.

"Look out!" Megumin shouted in the split second before a figure charged out of the blackness with a spear at the ready.

Darkness pushed to the front of the group, deflecting the attack with the wing-like shoulder guard. The tip of the weapon narrowly missed her face as it glanced off of her armor with a heavy metallic sound. Kazuma shoved Megumin into Aqua, knocking them away from the danger as he drew his blade.

"Sounds like more are coming!" Darkness said. She and Kazuma engaged the first guy, sticking closer to him to make his reach ineffective. Their swords sliced through his chest and stomach in an 'X' shape, spilling blood onto the floor in front of him

"Barrier!" Aqua cried. A sheen of light blue spread across the hallway in front of them for a flash stopping three arrows from hitting anyone.

"Thats it, you bastards!" Kazuma charged down the hall, his body dropped low and his arms spread out to the side. His sword dragged a sparking trail through the stones as his screams echoed off into the darkness. "Bloooooody PATH!"

Kazuma was enveloped in blue light that trailed in his wake as his feet pounded down the hallway. With sharp, skill-enhanced movements he jammed his sword into one guard, then another, then their accompanying cleric and an archer. He came to a stop in almost a flash of motion, down on one knee with his sword held out to the side.

"Seems we might have to fight our way all the way down this hall," said Megumin, matter-of-a-factly as she readied her staff for any close-quarters combat they might see.

Darkness and Aqua closed the gap between themselves and Kazuma, as the adventurer rose to his feet, his cape fluttering from the abrupt movement. "How many of these guys are there?"

"What are these idiots doing in this—this—house of the goddess? My house! How dare they defile it like this!" Aqua trembled with such emotion that the light from her staff shook around them.

Footfalls in the hallway, so many of them this time. Why were they all gathered here? Kazuma jerked his head back so that he was looking over his shoulder toward Megumin, the younger mage was barely visible at this range. "Do you think you have one in you?"

"I can manage three. First one today; I've been saving up!" Megumin twirled her staff expertly and the jewel at the hooked end of the glimmered in the dull light. She planted her feet and began to chant an incantation.

"The tower of rebellion creeps upon man's world. The unspoken faith displayed before me. The time has come! Now, awaken from your slumber and by my madness, be wrought! Strike forth, EXPLOSION!" Megumin bellowed. As her words neared their inevitable conclusion a red beam of light pierced the darkness going straight down the hall. Through the illumination caused by it Kazuma could see their foes charging. Circular runes whirled around the beam and then everything erupted in light.

A normal explosion spell was vertical, striking down from the heavens in a massive column. But Megumin had been working on shape spell techniques; she could bend the weave of magic to her will now, curl her explosions around corners or just loose them in straight lines. It seemed more impressive than it really was considering her only skills were the explosion spell and spells that enhanced that spell.

When the light of the massive spell cleared the walls were still glowing red from the intensity of the blast. The charred bodies of their would-be attackers were strewn about the hallway. Kazuma continued on, using the light coming out of the stonework to guide him. Megumin's spell had done something else too: the door at the end of the hall had been blown off.

"Why put this so far out?" Darkness asked. "There's nothing else down here. No other doors or anything."

"If undead were directly below the abbey it would be easier for visitor clerics and archpriests who weren't in on the secret to sense them," Aqua said.

Kazuma was kind of impressed with her thought processes sometimes. She was pretty stupid, but she had her sparks of brilliance.

"What they didn't count on was a fabulous goddess like myself and my finely tuned senses!" Aqua said jamming a thumb into her chest with pride.

Aqua's brilliance was generally on display when it would make her look the best and give her bragging rights.

Megumin's feet were dragging behind him, her steps were slow and he could hear her breathing.

"We okay?" He asked her.

"I might have put a bit too much into it. I'll—I'll be fine," Megumin said. The mage had come a long way since he first met her. She could manage three or four castings of explosion a day now.

The door that was blown off was just a little ways now and Kazuma thought he smelled something: food. As they made their way toward the door he was sure he could see the faint flicker of torchlight and hear the muffled voices of dozens of people. He steeled himself, looking to Darkness. "Get ready," he said.

As they reached the door and stepped through it the smell of fresh breads and meats and steamed vegetables washed over him. He was more hungry than he had expected. The second thing that he noticed, and only a hair's breadth of a second after the first, was that the room had a small crown of people in some of the finest clothes he had seen since coming to this world. Nobles with puffed out pants that gave way to white stockings and who wore huge stiff ruffs around their necks.

Kazuma's sword felt ten times heavier and sagged down to his side, clinking against the stone floor. The men and women, the nobles, present in this room all had one other thing in common: masquerade masks. Their eyes all locked onto Kazuma and his companions.

At the far side of the room, past all of the buffet tables lined with steaming food there was a raised stage with a podium. A masked man in a maroon robe stood with his hands gripping the podium, staring down at the party.

"What's going on here?" Asked Kazuma.

Aqua pushed her way toward the stage, bowling past the nobles in attendance. "Just who do you think you are using MY temple to have some kind of undead celebration dinner party or whatever this is…"

"…an auction. This is some kind of auction for the undead," Megumin's eyes traced a line through the crowd and as Kazuma followed her gaze he saw it too. The small paddles with numbers scratched on them in charcoal held in the hands of many of the guests, the little gavel sitting atop the podium—he knew her to be right the moment those connections clicked in his head.

The nobles began to shrink back to the sides of the room. A plate fell to the floor and shattered somewhere. "I think it'd be best if you ran. Now!" Megumin yelled as she flared a bright orange circle of runes in the air at the tip of her staff. The light from it caused some of the people nearest to her to shield their eyes.

The moment that she dropped the precursor for the spell the nobles charged past them screaming and dropping their paddles and covering their faces so as not to be seen.

Kazuma pointed his sword at the man who still stood at the podium. "You look like you're in charge," he said. "Where's Wiz?"

"I haven't a clue on Aqua's blue ocean what you're talking about." He spoke the line in a rehearsed register

Kazuma could hear Aqua's knuckles crack and he looked to the side to see her fists clenched tightly at her side. "Behind that wall," she pointed. "There's dozens of undead. You can't lie to me."

The man at the podium moved and before Kazuma could say anything, he grabbed a strange crystal ball like object from just out of sight. The moment that he touched the ball a huge wall behind him began to rumble. "Oh, you mean these undead?" He broke for the door, darting down the side of the room.

As the wall slid away, the man ducked out behind the podium and darted somewhere off through the room. "Handle this here!" Kazuma called as he took off after the auctioneer.

"Where are you going?" Asked Aqua.

"Where do you think…" he said before taking a breath. "…you useless Goddess."

* * *

Megumin and Darkness pressed in close on either side of Aqua as the wall grumbled and rocked open. She raised her staff up above her head, the light shining bright from its tip. "Here they come," she said.

"Turn undead?" Asked Darkness.

"Not until we find Wiz," Megumin said.

"I've got other way to deal with undead," said Aqua.

The first of the zombies through the door was charging straight at them. It was rare for an undead of this type to be able to move that fast and be that spry. Its gnarled hands jerked out in front of its body, readied to grab the first of them that it came to. Aqua aimed her staff at the creature. " _Undeath to death!_ "

A wet explosion rocked the room as that zombie and several of the others following behind it popped like balloons spraying viscera across all over the room. The thing had gotten too close and there was some risk a bit of it might get on them. Then Darkness jostled them out of the way, throwing her arms out to the sides and letting it cover her.

"Ew," Megumin said.

Darkness's whole form shook, though Aqua had good reason to believe it wasn't from disgust. "I've never been so humiliated in my entire life…" she glanced back at her companions, her cheeks and bangs streaked with blood.

"You get off on the worst things," Aqua said.

Zombies moaned, their bare feet slapping at the stone floor as they fought against each other to get through the opening. They were nude, their skin sickly greens, and pale blues and in various states of decay. A few of them even had bloated stomachs taut with gasses from decomposition. This had happened many times before, but Aqua forgot the experience. The undead were drawn to her. They were drawn to life and hated it and nothing was more alive than a Goddess.

Even a Goddess who was mostly de-powered and running around in the realm of mortals. The funky smell of their rotten bodies washed over them before any more were close.

Darkness stepped in, her breathing still heavy. "I'll hold them back, we need to find Wiz." The blonde crusader lifted her sword, it glinted in the torchlight.

One of them made it past, diving for Megumin as she was the closest to it. She whacked the thing across the face with her stick, knocking it to the side so that it fell through a small table where they were serving bread. Taking a knife from the side of one of the platters, she drove it down through the thing's head. "We might have to get resourceful, I might only have one more explosion in me."

"Then save it," Darkness said. Her sword caught one of the runners at the leg, snapping his ankle so that his foot flopped around only loosely connected by twisted skin. She knocked another to the side and still another grappled her, biting at her armored forearm until she could push it away. "We're going to get overrun!"

"Turn—" Aqua was tackled, her back pressed against the table. The zombie that had grabbed her looked like graying hamburger meat. His—she thought it had been male—teeth and gums were exposed through a lipless mouth and his eyes were wide and yellow. The thing bit into her neck and she felt a sharp, warm pain.

Concentrate. She had to concentrate and call up her strength to push the thing off, but it hurt so bad. Blood ran down her chest, soaking into the top of her clothing. Her staff had fallen from her hand somewhere. She screamed.

Megumin was struggling, she could see the young made using her stick to hold back three of the zombies. Darkness was lost in a crowd of the things. How many had there been? How could this happen?

No.

Whistling bolts of energy ripped through the air so hard that Aqua felt her skin shudder and tighten. The zombie was blown off of her flipping through the air to land rolling through some chairs. Two more bolts of white hot magical energy tore through the zombies that were about to best Megumin. Another three hit the crowd around Darkness allowing her to break free.

"Who?" Aqua asked out loud as she clamped her hand down on her neck to stop the flow of blood.

Wiz appeared in the opening where the zombies had come from, her hands held out in front of her ready to cast another spell.

"Wiz!" Megumin, Aqua, and Darkness said in unison.

"I didn't know you knew that spell? A Magic Missile, nice," Aqua said. "It's a good thing you didn't let Kazuma see. He'd try to steal it."

A zombie moved to attack again and Wiz was on it, she turned her gaze on it and wordlessly cast a spell that pulled it under her thrall. She closed her eyes and held a fist out in front of her, opening it to see the zombie collapse into a heap on the floor.

"There's more of them than we have daily spells," Megumin said. "Best to get outside and blow the whole place up!"

With some of the panic passed it became very apparent that Wiz was nude. Aqua could really see her now and there was something hypnotic about the curvature of her form. Her hips and thighs were round and flawless and though she wasn't a small woman there was something natural about the small rise of her stomach that quickly hooked back under her legs into a field of darkened hair.

Megumin removed her cloak and ran to see the Lich, throwing it around the other woman's shoulders. "There. We have to go. Now!"

* * *

Kazuma hadn't planned this out in any real fashion.

His eyes didn't work in the dark the way that Aqua's did and even with his abilities, he was moving much faster than intended. Everything around him became a darkened blur. The air was still hot from Megumin's explosion spell.

Lucky for him, his target was human and seemed to have neglected to have an escape plan at all. The crowds that had left before them were probably out of here, but Kazuma could hear the auctioneer out front of him. He could hear the panicked breathing, feel the floor vibrate as the other man tripped over one of the fallen bodies of his guards.

"No, you don't understand," his voice was muffled by the mask. He huffed at the air, a breath caught in his throat before he let out a short scream.

"I understand you and your perverted friends were planning to do—whatever with my friend just because she's dead," Kazuma said. "And you used my other friend's religious order to cover your crimes."

The man toppled over a large dark form on the ground, another body, and rolled down the hall. Before he could stand up Kazuma put the cold blade of his sword against the exposed side of his neck.

"If you want her back—you could just take her. I'm sure her body's still fresh." Kazuma could feel him trembling against the steel. "Is that what it is, she's yours? I regret not getting to test her out my—"

Kazuma ripped his sword away, slicing the man's throat wide open and causing blood to spill out in a black poor around the shadowy figure on the ground. He stood over his kill, soaking in the metallic smell of the air, before falling back against the wall to catch his breath.

Something was wrong. He killed men all the time and for far less than zombie sex trafficking or whatever this was. Something was out of place.

He rested on the wall for he didn't know how long.

A hand touched his shoulder and he jerked away. Megumin was next to him, light now filled the hall being emitted by Aqau's staff. Wiz was with them, wrapped very tightly in a too-small cloak that he recognized as Megumin's. He spotted Darkness by the body, looking down into his face.

"You got him?" She said.

Kazuma nodded and stepped toward the corpse. He peered down into the face and froze.

"We have to keep moving. We didn't finish the zombies off," Megumin said.

"What's your problem Kazuma?" Aqua yelled, running up to shake him.

He glared up and spotted Wiz, disheveled and very nervous looking. Then he looked down into the face of the dead body, its head wreathed in blood. "Tanaka."

"You know this freak?" Aqua said. "It figures you'd—wait, I think I remember him too, Kaito Tanaka. I think—I sent him down here."

"He was a classmate, always a little weird. I don't even remember his first name, but he committed suicide a few years before I…got here," Kazuma said.

"It doesn't look like he got very far into trying to stop the Demon King," Aqua said smugly. She stooped down to take the mask and used a jet of water from her finger to clear the blood away. "It's magical."

Darkness giggled with delight. "I can hear more of them coming."

"We won't get far in another fight like that," Wiz said finally.

"Aqua," Kazuma said, seeing her for the first time, "You're bleeding."

"Oh yeah," she said. "I forgot. They're right, let's go."


End file.
